Hi All,
Given that people make mistakes all the time, it might seem strange to read that sometimes mistakes are mistakes at all. I know, because I have felt like it was a mistake coming to AZ. However, upon further reflection, I've come to the conclusion that since I spent time with my brother whom I hadn't seen in ten years, and I've learned quite a few things about my self, I now know that it wasn't a mistake. Besides I've met a few people whom I really liked. I also met a few people who choose to act like idiots, but that is their choice.
For me, the choice is now clear. I will be an equal in any relationship or I'm gone. I will insist that others respect me, treat me right and spend quality time with me or I'm gone. Others will no longer be allowed to cross my boundaries. If they do, they will get one warning, after which I'm gone.
I will work on improving myself, and I will make those choices on what needs to change. It won't be done because someone wants me to change to suit them.
So think about it, maybe what seems to be a mistake is really a pointer to something you need to work on within.
Peace,
ravnone1
web design, writing, reviews, etc.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
relationships, etc.
Hi All,
I want to talk a little about relationships. First, a quote from "The Book of Secrets" by Deepak Chopra, on page 204:
"You can't have a relationship with someone you don't pay attention to, an in your relationship with the Universe, attention is paid here and now, or not at all. In fact, there is no universe except the one you perceive right now. So to relate to the universe, you must focus on what lies in front of you. As one spiritual teacher said, "The wholeness of creation is needed to bring about the present moment.""
I borrowed this book from the library, and while I'm not saying that the man is the 'be all and end all' of anything, his writings hold some truth for me. On many levels.
One of which is personal relationships. I have a habit of interrupting people when they talk, sometimes it is because I need clarification, and also because of teh ADHD. This is rude, and I will do my best to stop doing this. I should listen more. I have a very dear friend who puts his attention on me whenever we are together, whether it's on a trip to the mountains, a phone call, or just visiting at his home, which I haven't done for awhile. He knows what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that you should only focus on the other person in your life, but I am saying that you can't have any kind of relationship without paying attention. Imagine if you were driving a vehicle and stopped paying attention, there would be wrecks everywhere. (To you who don't know what a 'wreck' is, it's a vehicle accident. Yep, sure did, had someone to ask me a few years ago, what a wreck is.)
I'm not saying you should spend all your time with the person you love, or the one who claims to love you. I'm saying that you can't spend all your time with others, and none or very little with the other person in your life. Another way of putting it is, you grow together or you grow apart. I no longer care as much for the person I'm with at this time, which is one of the reasons I'm leaving. I matter in a relationship or I don't belong there. If you're so busy being with everyone but me, and you don't want to talk to me, then I don't belong there.
I learned a long time ago to enjoy my own company, and to be alone with being lonely. I have many mental activities that I enjoy immensely, as well as physical things that I also enjoy doing.
Now as to the Universe, or any other being, we are in a relationship with it. If you are 'religious', or not, you may also have a relationship with God/Goddess. But if you never pay attention to them, you're missing a lot. It's like trying to have a conversation with someone who isn't listening to a word.
I guess that's all for now.
peace,
ravnone1
I want to talk a little about relationships. First, a quote from "The Book of Secrets" by Deepak Chopra, on page 204:
"You can't have a relationship with someone you don't pay attention to, an in your relationship with the Universe, attention is paid here and now, or not at all. In fact, there is no universe except the one you perceive right now. So to relate to the universe, you must focus on what lies in front of you. As one spiritual teacher said, "The wholeness of creation is needed to bring about the present moment.""
I borrowed this book from the library, and while I'm not saying that the man is the 'be all and end all' of anything, his writings hold some truth for me. On many levels.
One of which is personal relationships. I have a habit of interrupting people when they talk, sometimes it is because I need clarification, and also because of teh ADHD. This is rude, and I will do my best to stop doing this. I should listen more. I have a very dear friend who puts his attention on me whenever we are together, whether it's on a trip to the mountains, a phone call, or just visiting at his home, which I haven't done for awhile. He knows what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that you should only focus on the other person in your life, but I am saying that you can't have any kind of relationship without paying attention. Imagine if you were driving a vehicle and stopped paying attention, there would be wrecks everywhere. (To you who don't know what a 'wreck' is, it's a vehicle accident. Yep, sure did, had someone to ask me a few years ago, what a wreck is.)
I'm not saying you should spend all your time with the person you love, or the one who claims to love you. I'm saying that you can't spend all your time with others, and none or very little with the other person in your life. Another way of putting it is, you grow together or you grow apart. I no longer care as much for the person I'm with at this time, which is one of the reasons I'm leaving. I matter in a relationship or I don't belong there. If you're so busy being with everyone but me, and you don't want to talk to me, then I don't belong there.
I learned a long time ago to enjoy my own company, and to be alone with being lonely. I have many mental activities that I enjoy immensely, as well as physical things that I also enjoy doing.
Now as to the Universe, or any other being, we are in a relationship with it. If you are 'religious', or not, you may also have a relationship with God/Goddess. But if you never pay attention to them, you're missing a lot. It's like trying to have a conversation with someone who isn't listening to a word.
I guess that's all for now.
peace,
ravnone1
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
"on the road again"...soon
Hi All,
I've recently learned a few things about myself. One of them is that I don't effectively put a stop to people crossing my boundaries. And now that I have started that, in a nice way, mind you, it seems as if it's a long haul from here to there. I do have limits as to how much I'm willing to put up with for the sake of love. But it comes to a point when you realize that it just isn't worth it anymore. Hell, if you're trying to change me, then you might be the one who needs changed. That is your job, not mine. If I let someone cause me to change then I won't be the one you say you love. This is not love. This is about your self-esteem and control issues. I will not sit back and allow this to happen. Been there, done that, ain't doing it again.
I'm a unique person, as is everyone else. I'm not supposed to be just like you or anyone else. Neither is anyone else, otherwise we'd all be clones. Which we're not. We're unique individuals. And as such, we should be accepted and appreciated as we are. I may not like how you are, but I can accept it. If it's more than I want to put up with, why then, I'm always free to leave. right? Going to anyway. It took me a long time to learn to respect myself, and I'm not going to let anyone disrespect me, regardless of who they are. Not only that, but people deserve to be accepted for themselves. Maybe these people have trouble accepting and loving themselves. Regardless, if you're into control...leave me out of the equation. Also, my body is my business. If I choose to grow my nails, wear clean clothes everyday, or whatever, it's my business. I don't tell people how to treat their bodies, don't tell me how to treat mine. Don't hint, or make snide remarks either. Don't bitch about clutter and such things if it's you who are making it. It's a sign of a cluttered mind. So you are in effect bitching at yourself. I was so depressed over all this, until I made a few drastic changes in myself. I mean, I was suicidal, even tho I'd given my word to God and the Universe that I wouldn't ever do that or even try it, I was seriously considering it. But then I made a decision:I'm worth more than that and no one is worth killing myself over. So, I started taking St. John's Wort. For the most part, my headaches have cleared up. I'm less stressful. I felt hopeless, as if nothing was ever going to work out. But when I decided to take control of my life, I felt like a huge load was lifted off my shoulders. This is my life, and these are my choices. Now I'm less stressed out. Taking action always beats the hell out of sitting around bitching. It's time for a change. Wow, I must be growing up. I know there is someone somewhere who will accept me as I am, and will love me regardless. People don't have to be petty either, it's a sign of insecurity on their part. Another way of trying to control someone. When you people wake up, you'll realize just what you're missing. I've done my crying, and now I'm going to live.
Peace,
ravnone1
I've recently learned a few things about myself. One of them is that I don't effectively put a stop to people crossing my boundaries. And now that I have started that, in a nice way, mind you, it seems as if it's a long haul from here to there. I do have limits as to how much I'm willing to put up with for the sake of love. But it comes to a point when you realize that it just isn't worth it anymore. Hell, if you're trying to change me, then you might be the one who needs changed. That is your job, not mine. If I let someone cause me to change then I won't be the one you say you love. This is not love. This is about your self-esteem and control issues. I will not sit back and allow this to happen. Been there, done that, ain't doing it again.
I'm a unique person, as is everyone else. I'm not supposed to be just like you or anyone else. Neither is anyone else, otherwise we'd all be clones. Which we're not. We're unique individuals. And as such, we should be accepted and appreciated as we are. I may not like how you are, but I can accept it. If it's more than I want to put up with, why then, I'm always free to leave. right? Going to anyway. It took me a long time to learn to respect myself, and I'm not going to let anyone disrespect me, regardless of who they are. Not only that, but people deserve to be accepted for themselves. Maybe these people have trouble accepting and loving themselves. Regardless, if you're into control...leave me out of the equation. Also, my body is my business. If I choose to grow my nails, wear clean clothes everyday, or whatever, it's my business. I don't tell people how to treat their bodies, don't tell me how to treat mine. Don't hint, or make snide remarks either. Don't bitch about clutter and such things if it's you who are making it. It's a sign of a cluttered mind. So you are in effect bitching at yourself. I was so depressed over all this, until I made a few drastic changes in myself. I mean, I was suicidal, even tho I'd given my word to God and the Universe that I wouldn't ever do that or even try it, I was seriously considering it. But then I made a decision:I'm worth more than that and no one is worth killing myself over. So, I started taking St. John's Wort. For the most part, my headaches have cleared up. I'm less stressful. I felt hopeless, as if nothing was ever going to work out. But when I decided to take control of my life, I felt like a huge load was lifted off my shoulders. This is my life, and these are my choices. Now I'm less stressed out. Taking action always beats the hell out of sitting around bitching. It's time for a change. Wow, I must be growing up. I know there is someone somewhere who will accept me as I am, and will love me regardless. People don't have to be petty either, it's a sign of insecurity on their part. Another way of trying to control someone. When you people wake up, you'll realize just what you're missing. I've done my crying, and now I'm going to live.
Peace,
ravnone1
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