Sunday, March 2, 2008

packing...symbolic?

HI All,
I woke up yesterday in an irritated mood. Why? Because I knew that I had to go thru everything I own, and pack. Going thru everything, I had to make decisions as to what I can keep to take with me, what I must throw. Of course once I started, I was pretty much ok. I looked at it as also going thru internal issues that needed to be dealt with. The things I had to throw away were symbolic of internal issues that I need to dispose of anyway.
I'm glad I did, now I feel so much better. I have everything packed, except what laundry that needs to be done. What I'm taking on the bus is almost ready as well.
I actually enjoyed the process once I began. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm looking at this whole process as an adventure.
Once again I learned something new. I learned that it's ok for him to be the way he is and to let go. I can accept how he is, but if I'm not happy with the situation, I can leave. I don't have to stay with anyone if I'm not happy. If the situation makes me depressed or angry all the time, then it's definitely time to leave.
I also learned that while I don't mind a compromise, I do mind when the other person chooses to not work with me on it. Regardless of how much people love each other, if they either can't or won't compromise, it's not going anywhere except down the drain. Everything can't be the way only one wants it to be in any relationship. If it is, then one is master and the other is a slave. There is no respect in this kind of relationship. I demand respect from people in my life, I will not let people cross my personal boundaries. Period.
I have cousins who are 'little thieves', they are not welcome in my home when I get moved. I know this sounds cold, but since they are thieves and 'moochers', they might as well not come 'round knocking on my door.
For those who think this is cold, it isn't. It's self protection. Looking out for number one. I respect myself enough to set boundaries. It is my right.
I am looking forward to arriving in Ravenna. I haven't seen my mom in almost three years. I love my mom, I don't particularly like some of the things she does, but she is my mom. She's 20 years older than me, and it's time to make peace and put the past behind me.
We only have now, and it's best to make the best of it while we can. Life is for living, life is happening while we plan...
Peace,
ravnone1
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Nina Slone has worked at many types of jobs; currently she is editing books and writing articles as well as studying for A+ Certification. While she used to write reviews for O'Reilly's Blogger Review Program, they stopped the program. She likes to paint, draw and sketch. Her favorite tools are charcoal, pencil and oil paint. She loves modern or smooth jazz and many other genres of music. Mother Earth Beat, David Sanborn, David Arkenstone, CCR, Bob Seger, John Fogerty, David Allen Coe, etc. She loves the mountains as well as the ocean. She is a Christian, and lives her life accordingly.

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