Monday, October 20, 2008

staying myself

Hi All,
There are an awful lot of people who prefer me to be like them. Apparently. I mean they're manipulative, although, gods forbid they'd ever admit it. I do what I'm supposed to do, and yet they don't reciprocate. But...
they tell me I'll be ok. This is true, but it doesn't make it any less sucky. If I do what I'm supposed to do, where the hell is my incentive to keep doing it if simple requests are waylaid somewhere with a legitimate 'reason'? And even tho people wouldn't admit it, it all comes down to control. I have no desire to control people, just myself. But when I nee/want to do something, I don't think it's right that people use work or family or any other 'reason' to not do what I need or want to do. It isn't as if I'm a pest about it. And, if people really like me as I am, seems to me like they'd stop trying in subtle ways to make me like them. Did you people ever stop to think that maybe I like the way I am?
Sounds like I need to do a little magick to rearrange things in my life. I have nothing against people doing what they want, but I should be able to what I want as well, with the other person. In case you think I'm bitching at you, I'm not. I'm stating a fact. Fact is, I deserve better than this and I'll have what I want. Regardless.
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Nina Slone has worked at many types of jobs; currently she is editing books and writing articles as well as studying for A+ Certification. While she used to write reviews for O'Reilly's Blogger Review Program, they stopped the program. She likes to paint, draw and sketch. Her favorite tools are charcoal, pencil and oil paint. She loves modern or smooth jazz and many other genres of music. Mother Earth Beat, David Sanborn, David Arkenstone, CCR, Bob Seger, John Fogerty, David Allen Coe, etc. She loves the mountains as well as the ocean. She is a Christian, and lives her life accordingly.

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