Sunday, May 6, 2007

Charlie dead, and increments of time

Hi All,
This is a particularly sad time for me. On Friday, the 4th of May, Charlie was involved in a fatal collision. Apparently he didn't see the truck he collided with. He was airborne for a distance. There were no skid marks, and no road rash. His heart had stopped beating, and he had stopped breathing. The paramedics resuscitated him. On Sunday morning, at 3:26, he passed away, due to severe brain injuries.
I wouldn't have thought it possible to fall in love so quickly...and with only hearing a voice on the phone that said "you're home." When he saw me in person, he said he saw "welcome home" written on my face. We truly did seem to be in each others' head. Truth is I didn't even think I'd like him, he seemed so conceited in chat, until I talked with him on the phone.
Charlie was a wonderful person, and even tho he had faults like anyone else, he was perfect for me. I will and do miss Charlie. There isn't anyone who can fill that hole in my heart. I'm fairly well now, but when I'm alone and his sisters leave, I know I'm going to fall apart. As will they. I will be ok, ye gods help me to be. I have a few loving friends whom I can count on for emotional support, I just ask that I'm not a burden on them. I don't think I will be, but I sure hope not.
I talked to Charlie when he was in the hospital, and I told him that life is lived in little bitty increments. And that people are too proud to talk things out before something like this happens. They will bitch and moan, but not discuss the real issues. Yes I had a couple of issues with him, but nothing major. I was willing to stay and work on it, and yet when Charlie read my blog, he thought I was leaving. I wasn't, and told him so. I don't know if he believed me or not. I hope that he did.
Charlie, in many ways, was my world. It was like coming home, I don't have any other way to describe it. We were home, and now he's gone. I will probably write more later, but for now, peace.

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