Saturday, May 19, 2007

dreaming about painting the mountains

Dear Journal,
This should be an interesting weekend, I'm going camping...yah!!! While I'm camping, I intend to do a little magick, and since I do get interesting results at times; I always get results, just more interesting at times, so this should be very interesting indeed. I'll keep you posted on that.
I dreamed last night about painting the mountains and trees. I was using the palette knife to put the snow on the top and side of the mountains. It came out pretty good. I'm not sure where I was while I was painting, but it wasn't here at my bros'. I dream about many things, but art isn't one of them. I had a very interesting Tarot reading last night as well. I suppose some of you will think I dreamed about painting because of the Tarot, but I don't feel this to be the case. Hey, who's dreaming here? Me or you? LOL. Man, I love you guys, thank you so much for sharing my life. I have learned so much from each of you. All of you know who you are. I wish you love, and peace in all things. Which also indicated creativity and prosperity in some respects. It also mentioned romance, and learning more about things. Not the learning you do while a child, and your subjects are given to you, but rather when you college, and you get to pick the subjects.
From the things that have been happening, this is a very real possibility, on all accounts. I even found myself teaching my sister-in-law, in KY, a little about changing your reality to how you want it to be. I'm use to having an entity around, even 2-3, but three semi-circles of people in chairs? Reminded me of when you're at college, listening to the professor. Of course, one of my past boyfriends had a niece and sister who use to call me the professor. I always got a kick out of it. I finished eight grade, quite school, got a GED after a few years, and went to school for about 3 months in a business college for business admin and security, but I am well read on numerous subjects. It does help to keep the mind flexible and young. I didn't even know they were calling me that until one Saturday when they needed to know something and I heard them talking about me. It helped them, and that is what counts, regardless of what they called me. It did make me feel good, tho. I know you usually spell 'tho' as though, but I prefer to spell it as tho. So, it isn't a misspelling, it's deliberate. Almost everything I know is self-taught, from books, from experience, other people, and the School of Life. Otherwise known as the school/university of hard knocks. I have survived a multitude of things, and I'm stronger and better for it. So are many other people, who I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with. From all whom I've learned anything, thank you. Even if you were playing the 'evil villain' in my life.
Besides the magick, and art, I'm thinking of getting heavier into the Tarot, and getting back into astrology and numerology. I'll have to re-learn the last two. Could even make money at it. This is if the Universe and I decided on me doing this in this life. Among all the other things I've been gearing up for.
Another thing I feel the need to say now, sometimes I come into a person's life, and then go out of it after I've passed on what I need to. This isn't because I don't care about you anymore, but rather because my life is not totally my own...I do often think about you and how you are. So please, don't think I've ceased caring about you. It's not in my nature.
I also need to elaborate on "but rather because my life is not totally my own". I firmly believe we are masters of our own reality, but I also know that we make agreements before we incarnate, whether it's one or many times, to do certain things. With each person it's different, it depends on a number of things, including how advanced you are. So while I learn to create my reality, I still have obligations to fulfill. While I live my life as I see fit, so to speak, I still work at getting things done that I contracted to do. We, all of us, are transient beings at best. Meaning we move into and out of people's llives all the time. The fact that now I have a plethora of people watching me and listening to me, I feel that I may be on the right track. If I'm not, they will tell me, and just give me a nudge in the right direction, like they always have. Make no mistake about it, they have guided me in all things in my life.
No matter how much it hurts, I still have the happiness and joy inside me, even when I'm so down that I want to jsut say "It's enough." But quitting isn't in my vocabulary, so it's not an option for me. When is it enough? When will it be enough? When mankind ceases to matter to me, and when I don't give a damn anymore. Even at my darkest moments, when I want to "go home", to a home which no longer exists...I still care. Why? Because you're worth it. I see the potential of what a great species you can be. Since I've been here, I've seen so much good as well as evil, and I've lived thru some of it. so I do know if you're worth it or not, at least from a personal stand point. If anything was going to make me give up, it would have been when Charlie died. We are worlds within worlds, and from the human part of me, he was my whole world. But from my point of view, the other part of me, he wasn't. My job encompasses a whole world as well. I know this sounds like a dichotomy, but it isn't. It's like this each time we're together, and yet I don't give up. Why? Do you think you're worth it? From a human stand point, if I were truly selfish, I'd just say the hell with it. But there is more at stake here than just my broken heart. And yes, I can see that some of you may think it isn't, but you don't live with it 24/7 like I do. Sometimes the bigger picture takes precedent over the individual parts, like in a play. It takes each one to make it work.
I guess I've chatted enough for right now, Journal.
Peace to all those who seek her.


DG said...

i'm back 'in the saddle'.. glad to see your still at it.. stick with your strengths... i learned that from

ravnone1 said...

DG...Peace and love. Keep up the good work. I always stick with it. Glad you're having fun.