Wednesday, September 12, 2007

left field

The term "out in left field", use to refer to baseball. Now it seems to be more like the following in meaning:
"Perhaps the most likely theory is that it alludes to inmates of the Neuropsychiatric Institute, a mental hospital, which was located behind left field in Chicago's old West Side Park. Hence being told you are 'out in left field' would mean you were accused of being as peculiar as a mental patient. In any event, the term has been used figuratively for various kinds of eccentricity and misguidedness since the first half of the 20th century." The link gives more about it, but for brevity's sake, I copied and pasted only some of it.

Now, I'm going to add my two (2) cents to it. Did you people who use the term ever stop to think that #1, it is another way of thinking about or seeing something? Or #2, that for people who may be 'out in left field', it is 'normal' for them? Normal is a relative term, because one person's reality isn't anothers'. Nor will anyone ever see things the same way. I am glad I'm an individual, and that I'm 'different', but then most people are. Just because I think and act or react differently, as well as think differently doesn't mean I'm not normal. Although if I am, so freakin' what? Am I supposed to be like everyone else? No, because then I'd be a clone.
I seem to elicit certain responses from people.
1. They always want to be around me, but would prefer that I change something about myself.
2. They are incredibly uncomfortable around me.
I find these responses to be, for the most part, simply put...ludicrous. Either accept me as I am or stay the hell out of my face. There are things I don't want people doing with me, and while they may be a given, per se, not all people know this. So I tell them. Yes it is common sense, but then that is a commodity that seems to be rare these days. I'm not inferring that someone is a jerk, or whatever, when I tell them these things, but I want there to be absolutely no misunderstanding about some things. And while there are things I do need to 'fix' about me, that is my job, when and if I see it. Not someone else's. Besides, if I change into what someone else wants me to be, I wouldn't be me. I'd be someone else.
I feel so uncomfortable with myself, when I try to meet their expectations and be what they want me to be, that it's not worth it. I do try to accept people for who/what they are. I'm also sure I don't always succeed, so I don't really expect them to succeed either.
If someone wants me in their life, they will have to accept me as I am. I'm not a violent person, although I can go there if need be. I would much rather have a discussion than to settle the matter, but shit happens.
It was remarked upon yesterday that I haven't been writing much. This is true. I have some things I'm going thru right now, and it's just better if I get the job done, rather than spend time writing about it. Although it can certainly be argued that writing is in fact a very good therapeutic tool. I know this and yet, there's a private part of me, that doesn't want to write about it.
I'm tired of all the BS. I'm tired of just desert, not good for a mountain woman, which I am. Not good for one who likes the water, which I do. I'm tired of doing everything alone, when right now, I need either friends or a mate to help me thru the rough spots. Someone who knows about magick to guard my back, so to speak. Or is at least willing to learn about it. I'm a witch, I can do this, and I is easier to do this with someone than alone, but then I'm use to doing this crap alone. Yes this is something I must do. I suppose I'm so used to doing for myself and my family, alone, that it's hard to let someone else do it. Only, in this case, as well as many others, I am doing it alone. I'm not going to say what this is inference to, because I need to work silently on it. What/who I need will appear in my life soon. While I may be a watcher/guardian...I need a partner in this. Ok, Universe...where is he? Thanks Universe, for always being there for me and most of all for accepting me as I am. Nature, thank you for always being my support team. Love you all.
Post a Comment

About Me

My photo

Nina Slone has worked at many types of jobs; currently she is editing books and writing articles as well as studying for A+ Certification. While she used to write reviews for O'Reilly's Blogger Review Program, they stopped the program. She likes to paint, draw and sketch. Her favorite tools are charcoal, pencil and oil paint. She loves modern or smooth jazz and many other genres of music. Mother Earth Beat, David Sanborn, David Arkenstone, CCR, Bob Seger, John Fogerty, David Allen Coe, etc. She loves the mountains as well as the ocean. She is a Christian, and lives her life accordingly.

Google+ Badge