I've recently learned a few things about myself. One of them is that I don't effectively put a stop to people crossing my boundaries. And now that I have started that, in a nice way, mind you, it seems as if it's a long haul from here to there. I do have limits as to how much I'm willing to put up with for the sake of love. But it comes to a point when you realize that it just isn't worth it anymore. Hell, if you're trying to change me, then you might be the one who needs changed. That is your job, not mine. If I let someone cause me to change then I won't be the one you say you love. This is not love. This is about your self-esteem and control issues. I will not sit back and allow this to happen. Been there, done that, ain't doing it again.
I'm a unique person, as is everyone else. I'm not supposed to be just like you or anyone else. Neither is anyone else, otherwise we'd all be clones. Which we're not. We're unique individuals. And as such, we should be accepted and appreciated as we are. I may not like how you are, but I can accept it. If it's more than I want to put up with, why then, I'm always free to leave. right? Going to anyway. It took me a long time to learn to respect myself, and I'm not going to let anyone disrespect me, regardless of who they are. Not only that, but people deserve to be accepted for themselves. Maybe these people have trouble accepting and loving themselves. Regardless, if you're into control...leave me out of the equation. Also, my body is my business. If I choose to grow my nails, wear clean clothes everyday, or whatever, it's my business. I don't tell people how to treat their bodies, don't tell me how to treat mine. Don't hint, or make snide remarks either. Don't bitch about clutter and such things if it's you who are making it. It's a sign of a cluttered mind. So you are in effect bitching at yourself. I was so depressed over all this, until I made a few drastic changes in myself. I mean, I was suicidal, even tho I'd given my word to God and the Universe that I wouldn't ever do that or even try it, I was seriously considering it. But then I made a decision:I'm worth more than that and no one is worth killing myself over. So, I started taking St. John's Wort. For the most part, my headaches have cleared up. I'm less stressful. I felt hopeless, as if nothing was ever going to work out. But when I decided to take control of my life, I felt like a huge load was lifted off my shoulders. This is my life, and these are my choices. Now I'm less stressed out. Taking action always beats the hell out of sitting around bitching. It's time for a change. Wow, I must be growing up. I know there is someone somewhere who will accept me as I am, and will love me regardless. People don't have to be petty either, it's a sign of insecurity on their part. Another way of trying to control someone. When you people wake up, you'll realize just what you're missing. I've done my crying, and now I'm going to live.
- Nina Slone has worked at many types of jobs; currently she is editing books and writing articles as well as studying for A+ Certification. While she used to write reviews for O'Reilly's Blogger Review Program, they stopped the program. She likes to paint, draw and sketch. Her favorite tools are charcoal, pencil and oil paint. She loves modern or smooth jazz and many other genres of music. Mother Earth Beat, David Sanborn, David Arkenstone, CCR, Bob Seger, John Fogerty, David Allen Coe, etc. She loves the mountains as well as the ocean. She is a Christian, and lives her life accordingly.